Using a Compliment to Open a Conversation and Get a Date

At first glance, complimenting a woman to make her feel good seems simple: every woman likes compliments and a lot of men use them instinctively as opening lines. Where they tend to slip up is in complimenting the wrong thing or over-complimenting.

It’s not always wise to compliment a woman on something that’s outside her control – particularly her looks. Firstly, she’s almost certainly had lots of other men compliment her on the same feature and your comment will see you immediately labelled as predictable and unimaginative – which doesn’t raise the chances you’ll get a date. Secondly, you’re ignoring all the effort she’s no doubt made that evening. So compliment her on things she can control – her hair style, her dress, her jewellery or something she’s doing.

Do compliments of the right kind always work? Not according to everyone. Some of the self-styled ‘pick-up artists’ who specialize in seduction believe that beautiful women are complimented so often that they get used to it – they expect it, and even look down on those who do it. Their view is that these women need to have their perspectives reset for the approach to work – essentially ‘taking them down a peg’ by paying them a ‘negative compliment’ or mild insult. They even have a term for this: ‘negging’ – and it forms a key part of the technique known as the Mystery Method, developed by pick-up artist legend ‘Mystery’.

Whether you subscribe to this view or not, it’s certainly true that it’s possible to spoil your chances by so over-complimenting a woman that she views you as either a creep or someone with low self-esteem. Compliments need to be flattering but honest and delivered casually – remember, you’re just stating a fact. How you compliment a woman determines to some extent how she sees you. The compliment will make her feel good, but it’ll also tell her what sort of things you notice, the fact you’re confident enough to speak to her and that you consider yourself worthy of having an opinion. In many ways how you deliver the compliment and the fact that you’re doing it is more important than what you actually say. Practice with a friend or through one of adult phone chat lines when you could chat with someone in real time.

What should you pick to compliment her on? Ideally, you need to pick out the thing she’s spent time on, the thing that other men probably won’t notice (they’ll be too busy commenting on her breasts, her legs, her eyes). Ask yourself what makes her different – remember, it doesn’t have to be something physical. The way she dances, even the way she laughs can make her unique. The reaction you’re trying to elicit is pleasant surprise – she wasn’t expecting anyone to notice, but she’s glad someone did.

As with any dating technique, practice will help. Get into the habit of noticing things – ask yourself: what would you compliment that woman on, if you wanted to make her feel good? Then start actually doing it – even if it’s just in passing. Even if you don’t get a date, you’ll brighten up a few women’s days!

Dating Tips for Single Women

The time of praising women’s virtues is long gone. If you are a nice, understanding and compassionate woman who is willing to compromise her well-being for the sake of pleasing others, this is the time to change. The present dating scene requires new rules and outlook on what really means to be a single woman. In her book, Why Men Love Bitches (Adams Media), Sherry Argov exposes the limitations of being nice and gives women practical tips for empowering themselves.

Men are visual creatures

When women dress for a night out, they often wonder what to wear. Despite the season or the occasion, single women’s primary focus is on how to look sexy and appealing for men. However, the seductive dress that you will wear does not guarantee attracting potential date candidates.

There are apparently two types of men – the ones that like to stare at the upper body of the woman, namely at her breasts, and those who like the shape of a woman’s bum. Therefore, when dressing up, try to emphasize the areas which you are proud of regardless of the current trends and fashion. Wear something that makes you feel sexy.

Single women’s top-secret weapon

Men’s primal stimulus is their sexual drive. However, men often share that they are attracted to a woman who is resisting their courtship. The higher the mystery aura around a woman, the better chance she has for men to want to get to know her better. Furthermore, the top-secret weapon of woman is to give misleading signals about her availability. When going on a date, try not to share all your secrets. The more a man wonders if he will get lucky, the harder he tries.

You might be single, but not desperate

Being single is a gift. Until you see the singleness as a burden and reason for desperation, you will not be able to enjoy its benefits. Instead of focusing on the negatives of being alone, try to use the time to have fun, work harder at your dream career goals or your favorite hobby. Being single defines you as an independent woman who can take care of herself. You should be proud of what you have achieved and reward yourself for all the energy and time you have spent on others. Start seeing singleness as a “me” time and you will attract men who appreciate you for who you are.

When dating, do not give all your energy to the potential partner. No one is worth having you all for himself. Remember to keep your distance in the beginning until you get to know that person better.

While single, try to use your time to define what you really want in a man. If you are in your 20s, there is a chance that you might just want to have fun, which is just the way it should be. However, if you have passed your 30s, your expectations are much higher. Even though it is good to know what you want, setting up high expectation might prevent you from enjoying the moment and dismiss potential candidates. In a survey conducted by Cosmopolitan magazine, which results are outlined in the article “Cosmo’s Men Summit: What Do Men Want?”, 60% of men agree that women’s expectations are unrealistic. Looking for the perfect man is an illusion that only leads to disappointments.

Dating Married Men: Why Some Single Women Do It

Some single women are attracted to men who should be unavailable to them. They purposely seek out relationships with men who already have a spouse. Why do some single women enjoy dating or pursuing married men?

He’s Willing to Commit

It may seem strange, but being able to commit is an attractive trait in a married man to some single women. They like the assurance that the man they are involved with isn’t afraid of matrimony or a long-term relationship.

Unfortunately, they’re missing the big picture.

He’s also willing to step away from his commitment when given the opportunity. It may seem like a plus to know he’s willing to make things permanent. But how long will his permanent be?

Don’t be surprised that he didn’t literally mean “til death do us part” during the wedding vows he shares with you either.

The Challenge of Winning His Affections

Nothing gets some women going like being told they can’t have something. Mother Eve got us started way back in the Garden of Eden. What bigger challenge is there than to take the affections of a man away from another woman?

The problems usually begin once the “prize” from the challenge is taken home. Enjoying cleaning up the clothes that never quite make it into the hamper, ladies? How about his sudden memory lapse concerning the promises he made concerning your future together? And are you beginning to suspect he really isn’t working late every Friday night (like he told his wife while sneaking around with you)?

The thing about challenges is: once they’re over was all the effort really worth it? Did you really win something of value? Or, is that brass ring beginning to look a little tarnished already?

He Isn’t Happy With His Wife

He’s miserable in his marriage. His wife’s a shrew who doesn’t understand him. Of course, your information is coming from a most reliable source. If he says he’s unhappy, clearly it’s the truth. If he says she’s the reason for it, what more do you need to hear? Why on earth would your married boyfriend lie to you?

Just remember, if you’re lucky enough to become his next missus, your singular goal and mission in life is to make him utterly, deliriously, and supremely happy.

That way, he’ll never have any reason to tell the “truth” to another woman about you.

He Loves Me

The day he uttered those three little words, that settled it. Love conquered all.

You didn’t intend to fall in love. Yes, you knew he was married, but you never intended to take someone’s husband and father away. It wasn’t planned. It just happened.

In a few years don’t be surprised if, or should we say when, your sweetie gets bitten by the love bug again. After all, just like you couldn’t control falling in love with him, neither will his latest love.

He’s just a loveable guy. He has a big heart and he enjoys sharing it.

Many single women find themselves attracted to married men. They find lots of reasons to justify having a relationship with someone who already has a legal and moral commitment to another.

Warning to Single Women About Married Men

Many enjoy the element of danger and intrigue in having a forbidden relationship. Some women believe they are with someone whose marriage would have ended with or without their involvement sooner or later.

However, single women who enter into alliances with married men need to remember one thing: most relationships built on a foundation of lies and deceit will usually topple. Research shows more than 70% of all marriages end due to infidelity or cheating allegations.

Yes, your relationship might be the one which defies the odds. Your marriage may even be the exception to the rule. However, don’t be dismayed, if statistically – you aren’t.

Advice From Twitter for Girlfriends Who Ask, Am I the Other Woman?

How can you tell if your man is cheating on you? That’s what Side Chick Awareness is all about. The answers given by Twitter users are mainly funny, sometimes angry, and sometimes sad.

All of the fears about infidelity – getting caught, being cheated on, being the “other woman” without knowing it, or having an unfaithful husband – are serious and painful. But comedians have known for centuries that there’s also a funny side to the situation. It makes great material for Twitter.com, a social networking website where people publicly exchange messages of up to 140 characters long.

What Women Say About Being the Other Woman

The main theme of what Twitter users identify as #sidechickawareness is secrecy on the man’s part. He clearly doesn’t want anyone to know he has more than one woman in his life. Some of the Twitter posters are fully Side Chick Aware, but others need lessons, so people have been giving each other many helpful hints.

In these quotes from Twitter, some of the language has been edited to make it more readable and in a few cases, less likely to offend. On Twitter, the @ symbol is used before a person’s screen name and the # symbol helps with indexing. People can search the site for #sidechickawareness and instantly find all the related posts that contain it.

Some clues from other women to know if you are a side chick:

@skhan813: “homeboy makes you drop off food for him but it ends up looking like a drug deal #sidechickawareness”

@PiNKissableLiPS: “#sidechickawareness is when your phone calls get ignored cause he be with wifey.”

@IamSpectacular: “#sidechickawareness if you find an empty condom box, and yall don’t even use condoms.”

It’s possible that the Side Chick’s relationship could be as intense as the man’s marriage (to the Main). Both these posts suggest some family ties.

@pjsocomplicated quoting @B_McQ quoting @LadyE8806: “#sidechickawareness… Just cuz you have a baby by him does NOT make u the main!”

@tdothoney: “#sidechickawareness His kid callin me Mommy by accident.”

What Women Say About Men Who Have a Side Chick

Opinions, almost all from women, suggest that the Main can be either fearful and worried about whether there is a Side Chick, or the Main can confidently assume there is but that the Side Chick isn’t a threat.

Example of a Main who thinks Side Chicks are going to be the ultimate losers:

@LOcourtVE: “Lesson to women who prey on married men. 75% stay with their wives. Find someone else!!!<#sidechickawareness”.

What Men Say About Their Side Chicks

The men in the #sidechickawareness discussion are mainly putting forward the cool dude image and treating the whole angst-ridden “is he cheating on me” question like a game. Much of this is written in the ironic tone typical of Twitter, for example:

@JeffreyRipper: “Edamame is my #sidechick. She has #sidechickawarenss and knows how to stay in her lane.”

@MaggDaddy: “If I bring you to the house and I tell you, ‘Just run downstairs I’ll be there in a minute’, you need #sidechickawareness.”

Approaching Twitter more analytically and assessing the social commentary made by the whole #sidechickawareness discussion, is this post:

@hjules: “Only on twitter or only in today’s world will WOMAN tell off the mistresses for not having #sidechickawareness. Strange.”

What Everyone Says About Tiger Woods

A polite translation of the commentary on Tiger Woods is that he would have been unwise to phone his alleged girlfriend and leave an incriminating voice mail, a recording of which (it is claimed) has been widely published. Here’s how one man summed up the common opinion:

@DCruz215: “U like the only [man] on the EARTH named Tiger. Aint u supposed to try and hide [extra-marital affairs]? Don’t use your real name! #sidechickawareness”

Whether he had an affair or not, and whether the phone message is authentic or not, the Tiger Woods story and all the rumours around it are going to be a footnote in sports history before long, but the phenomenon of marital infidelity will never end. Sociologists of the future will have plenty of information about early twenty-first century dating and marriage if they choose to look up and analyze #sidechickawareness.